In the second month, 2015 A.D.
Your many emails are a pleasure to read and ponder. You are
all very dear to me no matter where you are at this time. I haven't seen many
of you for more than a year, and you might be happy to know that I'm not the
same person I was.
I've changed in many ways, but you probably notice them more
than I do. Especially because I'm too busy to really pay any attention to
myself. I'm really enjoying missionary service, and I'm looking forward to
interviews with the mission president this Wednesday. I'm super excited to see
my very first recent convert family go through the temple to be sealed. That
will likely happen in the middle of March, which is getting closer all the
time.
I have not always been as obedient as a missionary ought to
be, or as a child of God ought to be, but I've tried to cultivate in myself an
attitude of exact obedience. In last First Presidency Message Thomas S. Monson
said "the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when
God speaks and His children obey, they will always be right." I've tried
to convince myself of that truth so that I will have the strength and the
tenacity to be exactly obedient no matter what. All of the excuses become
meaningless as I realize that the Lord cannot be wrong, and his guidance
through prophets and inspired leaders is always given with our best interest in
mind, even when we don't understand His ways, they are still right.
Now, on to the story of this week.
I've been rejected many times before. Knocking on doors
rarely brings success even if it's a familiar door. If someone does answer the
door, they usually have an excuse ready. Some common ones are "they are
sleeping"; "they just got home"; "I just woke up";
"I'm busy"; "I'm Catholic"; "I was just leaving"
and many others. Some are more understandable than others, but even the lame
excuses can keep us from teaching people. So I was not harshly disappointed
when, upon visiting his house on Sunday, an investigator of ours answered the
door and said he was about to leave and take his family somewhere for dinner.
My companion and I were, understandably, understanding of his situation,
especially considering that we had neglected to call of text him or in any
other way inform him of our coming. So we left with the promise that next time
we would at least text him first to see if he's available.
Not even five minutes later, having walked a good distance
from his house, he called us on the phone and told us to come back. He said he
changed his mind. When we got back there he said that the word of God is more
important than his plans to go out with his family. He invited us in and openly
apologized for turning us away. It was probably the most appreciated apology
that I've received on my mission. He probably didn't know that there have been
hundreds of instances in my mission when I have been rejected, dismissed and
sent away from others with much less valid excuses, but Bernie, out of the
goodness of his heart told us to return and apologized.
After that we prayed with him and taught him about prophets.
Throughout the lesson he agreed with the doctrines we taught him, and towards
the end declared "I believe the things you've told me" I'm am hopeful
that he will come to church this week and become truly converted to the truth
that he so deserves. I won't forget this man, and neither will God forget those
who call to Him, no matter how oft or how crudely you have rejected Him.
* * * * * * * * * *
First off, I will have a new companion on Wednesday. I think
his name is Elder Harera. I'm excited. I love Elder Seculles, but I'm excited
to have some changes. Also, one of my kabahay is my dating kasama sa MTC. I'll
let you know how that goes.
But this last week we talked to a lot of people trying and
trying to find someone to teach, and mostly we were unsuccessful. One day this
week a member worked with us, but he's leaving to serve a mission later this
week, so he probably won't work with us again. We did however, find some other
members that are willing to work with us later this week, and I'm excited for
that. My companion and I tried to share the gospel with many people, but only
11 kids came to church this Sunday, and 9 of them for the second time. I don't
mean to be pessimistic, I would just be much more excited if their parents
would come too, or if some of the other people who said they would come
actually came. I do love those kids though, and they do enjoy coming to
church.
It makes me feel like I'm doing something right every time I see them and realize they wouldn't know anything about the church if we hadn't introduced it to them.
If you don't mind, keep them in your prayers. Many of them
want to get baptized. Pray for their parents to accept the gospel that they
might see all of the blessings of the gospel as families. In this picture there
are 5 different families, and there are more that want to come, but aren't
allowed to. Pray for their parents to open their hearts and their homes. I'll
do all I can to show them through their children that the gospel blesses families.
I know you weren't expecting for me to ask you to do
something, but prayer is easy and it brings miracles.
I also learned in Gospel Principles class that if you don't
feel like praying, you should pray until you do. I've had to do that before.
It's humbling.
* * * * * * * * * *
I've had many interesting experiences this week, but I think
I'll start with the most recent one. While reading through my emails I was
surprised to see an email from a member in my first area. What surprised me even
more was what the message contained. I found out that the mother of the family
that we baptized in my first area, has abandoned her kids, and thus they will
not be sealed in the temple next month.
It's hard to receive news like that. It makes me doubt my
past effort in teaching them, and my current effort in praying for them. Did I
not pray for them often enough or earnestly enough? Did I not do my part to
help them stay active? I promised them that I would come to their family
sealing and now I can't keep that promise. I love them. Did I not show that?
What have done? What have I not done?
I'm reminded of a scripture in D&C 18. Verse 16 reads:
"..if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me
in the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring
many souls unto me!"
To me, it could also be said: "..if your pain will be
great with one soul that you have brought unto me that fell short of the
kingdom of my Father, how great will be your pain if you should bring many
souls unto me and they still fall short!"
There were 8 hopeful souls, anxious, and preparing to be
sealed as one. They were on their way... I'm not too upset about it, but I am
hurt by what happened.
Anyway, in other news, yesterday we were visiting and
picking up people to go to church. Our first 3 planned visits didn't happen.
They were either gone or busy, but then I got the idea that we should pick up
Sister Marinel, and when we got there she was waiting for us.
We took her and went to pick up the kids that have always
been willing and excited to come to church, however, upon our arrival none of
them were ready yet, and some said they didn't want to come. 45 minutes later
only 3 of them were ready to go, and after an hour 5 of them were completely
ready to go. So we left with just the 6 of them, and I was happy, I know that
it's not easy to go to church every week and sacrifice that time, and I was
proud of the kids that had decided to join us. We all got on a jeepney and went
to church. We dropped them off in their classrooms and went to our class.
However, after 30 minutes a member told us to come out and
see something. We got up and went out the door, and saw 4 of the kids that we
left in our area standing in front of us. The children then explained to us
that they had walked to church on their own. This surprised me and confused me,
but it made me really happy at the same time. I hope their parents knew that
they did that.
After the classes, for the first time ever, they all sat in
their seats and were generally reverent for all of sacrament meeting, even
though I was not able to sit with them for most of the meeting because I had
the surprise assignment of playing the piano for the whole meeting. It was
surely memorable.
So despite all of the ups and downs of missionary work, the
ups are always the most memorable, and the successes are the easiest to see. My
mission has had disappointments, but for the most part I don't remember them. I
remember the moments when everything went right.
* * * * * * * * * *
It's been 8 days since I last emailed any of you, and for
many of you it's been even longer. I could send a mass email to everyone I
know, but I really consider each and every one of you before I add you to the
send list. If it's been a while since you've received an email maybe this email
has something in it that's just for you.
It's been 4 months since I've had a baptism, which may seem
like a small drought, but in this mission we're expected to have about 1
baptism each month and the standard is actually 2 each month per companionship.
I don't feel like a failure, I've baptized before in my mission, I'm just
wondering if maybe there's something that I'm doing wrong.
I know that there are times when each of us must feel that
way. If we don't it might be because we didn't read or understand or have yet
to apply the principles taught in Elder Uchdorf's conference talk entitled
"Lord, Is It I?"
I have gone to the Lord in prayer and often confessed
"Lord, it's me." and then asked "How can I change?"
I've seen a lot change since I left home. I've had old
friends get baptized, close friends leave on mission, good friends get married,
and family members grow and progress in numerous ways. With all these changes I
would hate to arrive home not a changed man. And with all the many changes that
have and will continue to occur I need the Lord's guidance to know how to
change myself in order to be successful in an ever changing world.
Also, with all the many changes I would be living in fear of
an uncertain future. Luckily, through trusting God, I'm not the least bit
worried about what might happen after my mission. I know the Lord will prepare
a way. I've seen Him do it before in my mission, and thank goodness, He doesn't
change.
I would honestly love to share all of my experiences with
you, but now I have no time for such an endeavor. I'll try my best to write
about all of my experiences, if not in emails, in my journal or in letters. I'm
really learning a lot from my mission, but at the end of the day, that's not
even the main reason I'm here. So I have a lot to do.
See you soon,
-Elder Southwick
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